[Excerpt from TT: 2005-12-04]
[tkmppi] What would be helpful for the Hopelessly Loved of the HL/HL monad?
[M Entity] For those who are in a Hopelessly Loved/Hopelessly Loving Monad, the greatest challenge for the Hopelessly Loved is in the management of the guilt and shame and sense of extensive responsibility for the Hopelessly Loving. What can help the Hopelessly Loved part of the Monad is in the allowance of the full experience of being WANTED.
The Hopelessly Loving/Loved Monad is not truly about LOVE, but about WANT. It is “not your fault” that you are Wanted, nor is it your “fault” that you do not Want that person in the same way. You are not responsible for the definitions of Want for other fragments.
More than understanding your own position within the Hopelessly Loving/Loved Monad, understanding the point of the other side can help tremendously. The Loving/Wanting part of the Monad is learning a powerful lesson in self-worth as it is defined INTERNALLY, rather than EXTERNALLY. The Loved/Wanted part of the monad is learning a powerful lesson in RESPONSIBILITY as it is defined by personal boundaries, rather than by the boundaries of others. Knowing that you are not Responsible for the Worth of another is liberating, even as you may still feel kindness or compassion for the Loving/Wanting position. It is okay to feel kindness/compassion for the other half of your Monad, but you do not help close the monad through guilt, shame, or obligation. This monad is closed when both fragments grasp their own ability to choose SELF as a first step toward truly Loving/Being Loved.