How to help someone stop blaming?

[Excerpt from TT: 2007-11-05]

[christian] My question was promted by one of the Mblogs. How would I help my sister to stop blaming so that she could release the pain? It seems the pain has in part come to define her. I see that as restictive. Please advise.

[Michael Entity] We must remind you that we do not “advise,” as we do not have an investment in your choices. We can, however, respond with our observations and suggestions: In terms of helping your sister to stop blaming, we would suggest, first, that you examine why you would wish for her to be rescued from her personal experience and process. We use the word “rescue” as this is what we would describe the act of interrupting an experience for the sake of what might be defined as a state that is “better” for a person. Quite often what one believes is “better” is not for the sake of the person being rescued, but for the sake of the rescuer. In other words, it pains you to observe her struggles, so to remove her from her struggles may bring relief to you. We do not state this as incriminating, but as a first step in understanding your motivation to help her. Honesty with yourself is the bridge of effectiveness between your efforts that benefit you and benefit the other fragment.

We also suggest this examination of motivation because what might “help” her the most is not an ending of her process, but walking through it with her at her pace and with the restrictions and pain she may feel is necessary along the way. When we say “feel is necessary,” we do not mean that she wishes for this pain, but that the pain is a product of her processing of truth, and it is accepted as such on a level within herself that trusts her own navigation of her life.

In short, the pain that you perceive as having come to define her is just one side of the process that will allow gaining a more comprehensive awareness of her truths. It is only one side. It is not her conclusion. If you wish to help her, we see one of your choices that would bring about your desired results would be in simply walking with her through her process, but consciously embodying a trust in her process, yourself, so that she may also draw from that example of trust and regain a conscious remembering of her own trust in her process. This trust exists already within her, but not consciously.

Let her blame. Let her restrict herself. Let her identify with the pain. In many ways, “the only way out, is through.” Once the personality has fed enough on the lies that surround the experience, then the dessert of truth can be enjoyed.

We do not mean to speak so poetically, but these words have meaning in more ways than poetic.