[Excerpt from TT: 2007-05-13]
[merlyn] I have been feeling a great sense of fear / angst as of late, I am not sure why exactly and I am fairly sure it isn’t all coming simply from me, so I am curious, is this me picking up on a general fear that seems to be pretty pervasive in the world at the moment and if this is the case, how does one deal with it?
[Michael Entity] All fear that a fragment may feel at any time is HIS or HER fear, not the world’s. Owning the fear you feel is a step toward understanding its message to you. Fear is merely the part of you wishing to protect you, so there is something that is being interpreted in some way as a threat to you. If you feel that this is a vague fear that has something to do with the world at large, it is more than likely a fear that has to do with your sense of helplessness in the scheme of things, and your wish to protect the world from harm.
Many of our older students carry this sense of dread, terror, and fear as an undercurrent and this is often dismissed as a sensitivity to the world’s plight of the times, or it is nobly carried around as if it is doing more good than harm by keeping the fragment awake to the vagueness of threat. In truth, it is a very personal interpretation of the world as you relate to that world. It is not THE truth, but a personal truth that is being explored.
For many of you, this undercurrent comes from two sources: one is the personal sense of helplessness against the vastness of the world, and the other is from the teetering inclination to draw upon your ancient wisdom and experience to bring a soft trust to the world in a new way. This is terror in the real sense of the word for our older students. To choose to trust the process of the world, to bring a sense of peace to your daily living, even while some parts of the world remain locked in their chaotic challenges, and to find an effective way to still contribute in a meaningful way, can be terrifying.
The first steps toward choosing trust can often feel as if one is giving up to some delusional ideal, and this brings up all levels of personal distrust that remain for the fragment to process as self-karma. Trust is based on experience, not on blind faith, or delusional ideal. The trust that you would be choosing is based on your sense of Essence having been through a vastness of experiences that have all found their peace and resolution, and knowing that every single fragment has tended to choose that path in the end. It is a choice to trust your fellow fragments in their own process of learning how to choose, and choosing how to learn.
Again, though, before one can gain the benefit of choosing trust, it will always be a good idea to look at the vague fear on a very personal level, so one can see what one is wishing to protect oneself from. The way to deal with the general anxiety brought upon by this fear is to, one, own it and let it be yours. As long as it is seen as something imposed upon you by some sensitivity or world energy, then one is missing the point and can be consumed by it. Let it be yours and then you can do whatever you wish with it. Next, allow it. Let yourself be afraid so that the message is clear about what it is you wish to be safe from. Next, discover the truth of the reality of the threat. How much is anticipation and how much is actual threat? If you are in the realm of anticipation, then you have choice, and if you have choice, you can choose to soothe your soul with some facts about the reality in which you exist now, not the one that you anticipate filled with threat. And then to choose Trust.