[Excerpt from TT: 2009-02-08]
[meredith k] This is my real question anyway. Am I in love, lust , friendship, commitmentphobia, delusion, nostalgia, politics, false hope or all of the above with said person. To make it general, how can we tell what is what better in interpersonal relationships? What is weird is that I have danced with him before, in this life, and he feels like a woman in a man’s body to me, which I like. So I also think in some way we are working on healing or homophobia, so who knows. You guys?
[Michael Entity] The questions you ask are ones that we cannot answer. The meaning between two fragments is one that is defined specifically by the fragments experiencing the relationship. If you are “in love,” allow it. If you are delusional, continue exploring for truths. If you are nostalgic, enjoy the references. If you are dealing with phobias, continue to raise your consciousness and confidence. One person can create, nurture, and/or define any meaning he or she wishes to have for a relationship, but if one wants to SHARE meaning, it is always best to communicate and define that meaning together.
We would say that if one is confused about the nature of a relationship, attraction, and definition then two things may be at work here:
Either not enough experience, or there is a discrepancy between what is expected and what is experienced. If lack of experience is the case, then the solution is simply to continue sharing experiences and communication until meaning can be defined. If discrepancy is the issue, then the solution is to be clear about what one wants and to eventually describe this to the other party. If you are unclear about what you want, then the priority is for that to be determined before imposing meaning or expecting definition from the other.
[meredith k] that is a lovely answer, I hear patience, reality, communication and self knowledge, honesty thank you
[Michael Entity] Often the meaning of a relationship is “left in the air” because of fear, so one party waits for the other to give a sign as to what the meaning is and then the other will adapt or leave. But it is healthy and fair to share your ideas about a relationship, knowing that these ideas may change even as you voice them.
[meredith k] absolutely the case here, lots of fear, unfortunately, waiting for the other to give signs. this is good advice also especially knowing that these ideas change as you voice them that is very important for me to hear.
[Michael Entity] For the most part, specific to your relationship in question, we would suggest that you enjoy the adventure and exciting anticipation, but also to remember that you are a co-creator of the relationship, not just a recipient of the other’s approval.