[Excerpt from TT: 2009-07-13]
[Question] What causes the emotion of being annoyed, and how is it useful?
[Michael Entity] Being “annoyed” is often a defense against helplessness, or a wish to control a person, circumstance, context, or time frame; it is an offshoot of the Impatience and Martyrdom Axis, and even if those are not your habitual Chief Features, they are still accessible to all. In short, it is a control issue.
Annoyance is only as useful as one takes the opportunity to see it as informative. Annoyance points out where one wishes others would change so that one does not have to.
If there is chronic, unwarranted annoyance, keep in mind that the extent to which one is annoyed is the extent to which one is avoiding a truth about oneself. Those truths are usually painful and connected to the past and wounding. Mild annoyances are simply distractions, but if the experiences rise to chronic distraction, or to a clear pattern, there is information in those experiences that are specific to the individual being annoyed.
[Question] So the work lies with the one who is annoyed, not the one who is annoying?
[Michael Entity] The “work” will always lie with the one who is triggered because there is no real way to control others without the risk of generating Karmic Ribbons.
All of this being said, Annoyance is just another form of navigation.
If something or someone annoys you, it does not mean there is some deep, dark underbelly of wounding to unveil; it can often simply mean to move in a direction away from that which annoys you. It can often mean speaking up when you normally would not. It can mean offering alternatives, instead of presuming a limitation. It can mean adapting, despite your resistance.
The key in most Annoyances is in what you WILL NOT DO because you feel you “shouldn’t have to.”
One way to heal an Annoyance that may be a constant in your life is to recognize that you feel your personal Rights are being violated. If one can identify exactly what Right is being violated and voice that Right internally or externally, and then act most accordingly, then many situations can be relieved that way.
And finally, we would say that it is important to note here that the emphasis is not always about relieving the annoyance; this is often not possible in cases where physical danger may lurk, such as speaking up against a band of armed hoodlums who are ruining a movie. The issue is in giving yourself permission to claim back your Right in some way. You may not be able to convince others of your Rights, but you can make the choices that are most serving of your Rights. And once one has begun to understand, reclaim, and nurture his or her own Rights, then the fulfillment of the Rights of others do not seem as offensive or annoying. The hoodlums, for instance, while by most standards would be violating a multitude of social boundaries, are simply overcompensating for Rights that they, too, feel have been violated in their own life. Annoyance then can become Empathy and you would find other ways besides the enjoyment of a movie can help to nurture your own sense of Rights.